no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
