just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
