That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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