meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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