We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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