Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
