how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
