So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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