why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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