Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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