Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
