Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
