Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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