I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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