i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize