This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
