Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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