I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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