Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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