drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
