You really coming over, don't trick.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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