i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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