You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I skipped work to stalk him.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
