We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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