An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
