If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
