we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
