I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
