Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
