dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
