I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
