I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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