Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
