The brown eye won't let me do that either.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
