It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
