Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
