Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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