No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
