brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
