this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Someone shit on the floor
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
