So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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