Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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