just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
