he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
