Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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