I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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