Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize