masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
