Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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