do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
