Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
