Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
