I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
