she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
