He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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