Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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