she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
