I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
