we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
