Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
